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(Feb. 2003) "You Can't Always
Get... part 1." Cover art:
Michael Ryan. Script:
Mike Grell. Art: Michael Ryan/Sean Parsons.
One thing that stands out right away for me this ish is the very appealing
artwork! Is it my imagination, or has Parsons sort of "toned down" his
inks over Ryan's tasty pencils? If so, the result is a delight. The first
part of the issue has Tony and Rumiko doing
some holiday shopping (Attention Bad Guys: now that you know Stark is Iron
Man, just "off" Tony and you won't have to
worry about a reprisal! Picking him off in that mall would be soooo easy
right now, wouldn't it?), then introducing a street person to Haven
(remember that?). Meanwhile, some Arab
and North Korean
badguys appear to be readying a nuclear device
for some no-good aboard a ship in the North Atlantic. They're discovered
by a US Navy ship, but they get torpedoed by the baddies! A submersible
is dispatched to see what happened to the ship, but it ends up getting
trapped! A call goes out to Iron Man
to assist. He does promptly (much to Rumiko's dismay), but he himself gets
trapped as the vessel shifts -- and then begins to descend down a huge
trench!!
As
mentioned
previously, the art is great, but some of Grell's lines this
issue are just plain ridiculous. From the Haven kid's "I don't even have
the heart to tell him I'm Jewish," to the "proctologist" comment by the
submersible crewman....yeesh.
Hube's
Recommendation:  repulsors!
Fan Reaction:
The good: The "I don't even have the heart to tell him I'm Jewish" line
was funny. There was no mention of heart nonsense. The cover was beautiful.
The bad: The "Something money and power could never buy... something I've
been searching for my whole life. Someone to watch over me" line was nauseating
and the "No problem, sir. I moonlight as a proctologist" line was even
worse. The armor is still too weak. Iron Man should have flown up carrying
the battleship or casually ripped his way out. Iron Man getting trapped
in a battleship is silly. That's like you or I getting trapped in paper
mache'. Overall, this issue was a definite improvement over the ghastly
time-travel arc, but was still mediocre overall, with a few cool moments.
--
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Fan Reaction
2:
The art has improved, though it's still not as good as Sean Chen. The
people in the party looked cool, nice and naturalistic pose-wise.
I agree with the first letter that Iron Man getting trapped in a
battleship
is dumb. He's lifted heavier than that in weaker armors. At least,
supposedly
weaker armors. Where's Temugin or Mandarin? It's been far too long
since
the Temugin story without him even being mentioned! Grell creates one
of
the most powerful villains you'll find outside of a Dragonball Z
cartoon
and then promptly forgets about him! --
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Fan Reaction
3: I have to agree with the other two reactions. The story
was better than the last arc but still not up to par. Are we ever
going to see any classic Iron Man super-villains again in the pages of
Iron Man? As for Rumiko, Tony needs to move on to another woman.
I thought that she has been a bitch since her introduction and Grell proves
that point even more in this issue. --
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Fan Reaction
4: Hi Hube, another review for you. Yes the art has improved
immensely, and we get an armour display (remember those) but that's it.
It looks like we are going to get a watered down version of the movie The
Sum of All Fears. Characterisation is bad -- we get one panel of Happy
and Pepper. Speaking of panels, out of 82 panels, Tony Stark is in
26, Iron Man is in 18, and the incredibly annoying Rumiko gets 28, more
than the star of the book. I say annoying as she accuses a girl we have
not seen before of ripping off Tony; reading it again I can't see how unless
Angela has some kind of teleport wallet power, which I concede she might
have as it's obvious she is the missing Stone Angel somehow come to life
in a miracle of Christmas/Wish fulfillment malarky. Think about it,
Tony wants someone to watch over him in front of the angel, next thing,
Pow! Angela is there and her hands are cold as ice and she's used to it,
then the statue disappears. Still, Rumiko is annoying but I guess
Tony has to keep her sweet as she gave him 51% in a Mulit-National company
(ie, Grell couldn't be arsed to write a decent story about it). If
he wants to re-work the Little Mermaid, more power to him, but not in this
book. Two last things, no Letters Page but no great loss there...
and the Hulk Preview -- I think my money might be better elsewhere.
And hokey dialogue galore: "Lucky I designed this armour for any type of
enviroment etc." spoken out loud to himself. Here's a hint -- thought
balloon, armour readout saying "sealing against environment" etc... it
just doesnt work on so many levels it's not funny anymore.
--
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Fan Reaction
5: Iron Man has really gone downhill in recent years and
the Grell run has some of the worst issues to date. Iron Man, a guy capable
of knocking out the Hulk, second only to Thor in power, is trapped in a
sunken ship? That's freaking unbelievable! I thought this book "jumped
the shark" (a term used for when TV shows go downhill) when he revealed
his secret ID after saving a dog, but this is a "jump" moment too. And
why didn't Tony use his HYDRO armor on this mission? It seems fit for underwater
stuff. But since Grell has NOT bothered to study the Iron Man history,
he doesn't bother to use the HYDRO armor as a MAJOR plot element.
Grell really is unqualified to write this book and his blaring errors on
it shows. He just rips plots off from wherever and tacks Iron Man's name
to it. I look forward to the day when his run ends. --
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Fan Reaction
6: This issue was better than most of Grell's previous issues,
but the Invincible Iron Man just didn't seem invincible enough for me.
I just prefer a really, REALLY strong Iron Man. I'd like to add my name
to the list of those who would have prefered it if Iron Man had hurled
the battleship out of the ocean. THAT'S Invincible Iron Man level, not
getting trapped in a mere ship. --
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