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IRON MAN: HYPERVELOCITY #3 |
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(May 2007) - no title -
Cover art: Brian
Denham.
Script: Adam Warren. Art: Brian Denham.
Tony’s in a
coma and a cobbled together software emulation of his brain has been uploaded to
the newest iteration of the
Iron Man
armor... which is blasting down the
freeway in a pimped-out Honda on its way to an underground
mecha party to figure out who blasted his meaty body to a vegetated
state. You read that right friends,
Iron Man
is going to a rave
attended by a bunch of freaking cyborgs (or
mechs if you prefer)! Now you know I think that’s
cool. However, one major flaw jumps out at me on page 6:
Iron Man
says, “I can seriously crank my mp3 list all day.”
MP3????
As great as I think Warren is at writing this story, Tony would NEVER stand
for the seriously degraded sound quality of the mp3 algorithm blasting
inside his armor. Any guy that can cobble together a software version of his
own brain would certainly design a plug-in that would transform a regular
stereo signal to a surround sound mix, at no less than
96khz without lousy compression
artifacts! That’s what Marvel gets for not having rave DJs write their
comics -- sheesh! I gotta
deduct a repulsor right there. Anyway,
Iron Man
(or Tony 2.0) lets us in on a secret:
Tony 1.0 has been reverse engineering his enemies’ technology to add to the
Iron Man
technology! Wow! This revelation is right up there with issue #118 when we
saw a whole room full of
Iron Man
variants! Meanwhile,
SHIELD
is still trying destroy
Iron Man
because they think he’s gone rogue, and Major Aramaki,
who’s in charge of this operation, is hopped up on all kind of weird
experimental drugs.
Mid route
to the rave,
IM’s
repulsor
fires all by itself. You guessed it, that crazy suicide
goth chick is back! Her name is
Absynthe,
and she’s a computer virus bent on erasing Tony 2.0 from the armor and
taking it over herself. At least, that’s what she says.
IM
runs some anti-viral software and momentarily dismisses her. He makes it to
the mecha rave where he figures he’ll get the
intel he needs to
figure this mess out… but the mecha party is a
trap laid by Absynthe!
Deadly Buda's Recommendation:
   repulsors!
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